Why is it when we have a problem in our lives, we try to do our best to get around the solution? It is no great surprise that to fix or improve something, you have to work hard. It's a simple fact of life that the longer you take to get started, and truly pursue the end result you want, the longer the project will take.
I am certainly not innocent of this very thing. To tell the truth, I am quite accomplished at putting things off, and making excuses as to why I did not, or will not do something. It was that habit that led to the weight gain, and eventual health problems that followed.
The sad truth is that a frighteningly large number of Americans follow down that same path. At the risk of sounding hypocritical, I find myself growing irritated with people who gripe about their weight and shape, as they sit in front of a computer or television all day, eating a steady diet of junk food and soft drinks. In all fairness, I am irritated with myself for once doing that exact thing, but I stopped it. I got up, and finally did something besides complain.
Looking back, I realize how ungrateful I was. God blessed me with a healthy body. I had legs and arms that functioned well, a healthy heart and lungs, and no illness or disability that could slow me down. Instead of being thankful for my good health and strong body, I took it all for granted. Over time, the health I had been given started to fade. The fault lied with no one but myself of course, although I certainly tried to convince myself and those around me otherwise.
Despite my mastery of excuses, at least towards myself, I could no longer excuse my blood pressure, aching joints, and fatigue. I'm fortunate, however, that I made the turn around when I did. It feels as if I was about to take a step off of a cliff, and someone managed to pull me back at the very last second. I was surely a step away from weight related illnesses that would have robbed me of what little health I had left.
The other day, I came across a pair of Buddhist quotes that seemed to resonate with me. He said "To keep the body in good health is a duty...otherwise we shall not be able to keep our minds strong and clear." The truth of that phrase certainly struck me hard. My mind has healed as much as my body, if not more. The more I exercise, and take care of myself, the stronger my mental health becomes.
The second quote is just as true, but much more painful to really think about, when I look back eight months ago. "Without health, life is not life. It is only a state of languor and suffering; an image of death." I can say with absolute certainty that he was right. You need only look at old photos of me to see that I was neither healthy or happy. My weight limited me in ways that I did not realize until I started to lose it. I had no idea how poor my health was, until I experienced what it is like truly feel fit and healthy. I knew that I was not happy, of course, but I did not understand the extent to which my unhappiness went.
It finally came down to the simple truth that I had "excused" myself into obesity.
So I began to ask myself the very question I wrote at the start of this blog. Did I make excuses today, or progress today? When I started treating my mental health issues, I could say progress. When I started eating healthier foods, and fewer calories, I could say progress. When I walked for twenty minutes, instead of sitting around in a funk, I could say progress.
Over time, I found myself saying that I had made progress a lot more often than I could say I made excuses. When health began to return, and the numbers on the scale began a steady decline, it felt like my body was rewarding me for finally getting off my butt, and ending the years of procrastination. Needless to say, it certainly encouraged me to keep pushing forward.
Eventually, I began to realize that small issues that would once make for a great excuse, became small challenges that only made me smile and say "challenge accepted!" I think back to the lies I often told myself, and I have to laugh. If someone came to me today with the justifications I once used, I'd have to roll my eyes, and tell them that my three year old children could make a better excuse!
A slightly sore knee would have me sitting out from a walk or run.
A stuffy nose was a sure sign that exercise would not be happening.
Can't run when or where I want to? Oh, well, may as well skip the workout then.
Not going to be able to workout as long as I like? No point in exercising if it will be cut short!
Oh look, I'm close enough. I'll just call it a mile and head home!
I would rather relax at home with Ben and the kids, since he has to work.
Obviously, I had a fairly exhaustive supply of excuses as to why I should just skip the sweat. The things that once held me back...no, the things I once used to justify holding myself back, no longer fly. I have developed an inner personal trainer. When I want to slack off or cut corners, that woman starts in on me! She has a fairly long list of insultingly motivational phrases that get my butt in gear. Jillian Michaels, eat your heart out!
So today, if you asked me if I made excuses or progress, I can definitely say the latter. Although time was short, the wind was blowing, the rain was falling, and the temperature was cold I got out to the park and ran three miles. I would have pushed farther, but unfortunately even my inner personal trainer can not argue with the appointed time to pick up my children from Nana and Papaw's house. However, I did notice that having a set time limit certainly helped me run faster, perhaps I should try that more often!
Tomorrow, when you get up, ask yourself what you want to make. If you want it to be progress, then you need to get up and do it, there is no getting around that. No matter how small, no matter how insignificant it may seem, do some self improvement. That way, when you settle in to bed and ask yourself if you made progress or excuses, you will have an answer to be proud of.
I made progress today.
May your own excuses fall short, and your progress exceed your expectations as you pursue the changes you want in your own life!
-Kristina
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