Well, it happens to everyone. No, seriously, it does. We all have those weeks where exercise has been less than stellar, and our diet has been worse. It has definitely been one of those weeks for me. I am in need of some new knee braces, as my old ones are slowly dying on me. I certainly could have hit up the fitness room in place of running, but to be totally honest with you, the idea of getting on that elliptical made me say some bad words! In other words, I have taken the last week off from any and all exercise, and I enjoyed my fill of football food this past weekend. I think I am just not going to visit the scale for the next week or two, until I get back on track here!
But that is the thing. Getting back on track. Every person who has fought to kick a habit or addiction will probably fall off the wagon at least once. That is okay! The problem is not getting off track, but getting back on. I can not count the number of times I stepped off my path in the past and just said "oh the heck with it, one more bad meal can not hurt!" Then that became another bad meal, and another fattening snack, and another week without exercising. Slowly but surely I would find myself on a less than admirable track, right back to where I started.
Let's face it, it is hard to get back. One week of skipping workouts, and eating poorly, and you will find that you lost some of your progress. I'm expecting my next run to absolutely kick my rear end, and my next set of reps during my strength training to absolutely leave me begging for a hot shower. Well, that is okay. I want it to do that. I want my butt to get kicked, because that butt kicking will make me stronger for the next workout!
The "I'm going to give up again" excuse just is not going to cut it this time. Tonight, I will be doing some yoga to strengthen my body, and calm my mind. Tomorrow, you will find me in my clogging class, sweating it up while learning to dance, and then lifting weights after. Tuesday will find me on the track at the park or church, assuming I can get knee braces of course. If not, I will be working out (and cussing out) on the elliptical at church. Wednesday, I am going to go for a good walk, and hit those weights again.
In other words, my workout schedule is going to go on as planned, no matter how tired and sore it makes me feel. Better to be sore tomorrow, than sorry! Time to get my butt in gear, and get back on track. So if you're off track now, and feeling sorry for yourself, get up and get over it! That is why I am writing this. I am making sure you all know what workouts I plan to do this week, so that I will have to keep myself honest, when I am tempted to just shrug off another workout!
Don't let your derailment become disaster!
Kristina.
About Me
- katzmeow726
- Alabama
- I am a fitness loving, home schooling, fan fic writing, online gaming, weight lifting, running when and where I can kind of mom...I love my kids and husband, and wouldn't trade my life for anything!
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Friday, September 28, 2012
Weekly NSV!
I promised I would try to make sure I posted weekly non scale victories, and here I am! Last week, I wrote about blood pressure, and how I scored a victory by lowering it down to a healthy number. As far as NSVs go, I have to say that is a rather large one to celebrate. Large, but also a little sobering. It certainly causes you to stop and think more about health, and how important it is to know your body!
With that thought, I decided to have a little more fun with this victory. One of the other important numbers that goes down with weight loss is your size, obviously. I have posted a lot of things on my size, and the progress I have made there, so I wanted to speak about a different aspect of my slowly shrinking figure.
I have always been camera shy because of my weight. Candid shots always scared me, so I would pretty much try to avoid cameras when and where I could. It was always better to be the photographer, not the subject, because that way I could guarantee no photographs would be taken of me.
So the victory this week, is that I am no longer afraid of cameras!
I know, that sounds a little bit silly! Silly as it is, though, it could not be more true. Yesterday I had the fun opportunity to help out with the end of season celebration for the basketball league at my church's recreation ministry. There was much enjoyment of junk food, music, and blow up slides and obstacle courses! The kids had a great time and, I think, the adults did too. One of the people I work with was photographing the entire event, and for once I did not try to avoid my photo being taken. When I saw the photograph posted this morning, I was more than pleasantly surprised to find a rather slender looking version of me.
It is so nice to look at photos of myself, and really like what I see, instead of being embarrassed, and hoping no one views it. I have always been ashamed of how I look, but now I enjoy showing off my pictures. I enjoy having my photos taken. Somewhere along this journey, I found a new appreciation for myself, and a confidence that I have lacked for such a long time.
As this is a post about photos, perhaps it is proper that I post some of my latest favorites, starting with the one from last night!
With that thought, I decided to have a little more fun with this victory. One of the other important numbers that goes down with weight loss is your size, obviously. I have posted a lot of things on my size, and the progress I have made there, so I wanted to speak about a different aspect of my slowly shrinking figure.
I have always been camera shy because of my weight. Candid shots always scared me, so I would pretty much try to avoid cameras when and where I could. It was always better to be the photographer, not the subject, because that way I could guarantee no photographs would be taken of me.
So the victory this week, is that I am no longer afraid of cameras!
I know, that sounds a little bit silly! Silly as it is, though, it could not be more true. Yesterday I had the fun opportunity to help out with the end of season celebration for the basketball league at my church's recreation ministry. There was much enjoyment of junk food, music, and blow up slides and obstacle courses! The kids had a great time and, I think, the adults did too. One of the people I work with was photographing the entire event, and for once I did not try to avoid my photo being taken. When I saw the photograph posted this morning, I was more than pleasantly surprised to find a rather slender looking version of me.
It is so nice to look at photos of myself, and really like what I see, instead of being embarrassed, and hoping no one views it. I have always been ashamed of how I look, but now I enjoy showing off my pictures. I enjoy having my photos taken. Somewhere along this journey, I found a new appreciation for myself, and a confidence that I have lacked for such a long time.
As this is a post about photos, perhaps it is proper that I post some of my latest favorites, starting with the one from last night!
Playing ref for the obstacle course.
Hot and sweaty, but having fun at the football game! You can really see the progress in my face.
First skirt in so long. Pardon the mess and goofy look...all can be blamed on prep for Kidz Klozet!
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Another day, another milestone, another blob.
Wow! It is hard to believe that I have been on this road to health now for over half a year! In a little over six months I have gone from a seriously obese young woman, who could not walk up a flight of stairs without getting winded, to a much healthier "thick" woman, who runs at least 8 miles a week. And, obviously, stairs are no longer a problem.
I define milestones as ten pound increments of weight loss. There were a few different motivations behind my ten pound marker, but the most important two really helped me break down my goal into easy to manage steps. I think the biggest reason was that ten pounds is a good, even number. Small enough to be realistic, and big enough to be a challenge. Simply put, it is like taking baby steps. Back in spring, when I first decided to get on the ball about weight loss, and health, I set for myself a goal to lose 120 pounds. That was a very intimidating number. If you think about it, that is basically one whole person! So I divided it up in to two sets of sixty pounds. While this did help, even sixty pounds seemed daunting. I then decided to view it in steps of ten. Ten pounds is easy, I have done it before, many times. The problem was managing to lose that next ten, and the ten after that, and so on. So, as the cliche goes, I took it a day at a time. Before I realized it, I had lost the first ten, and was actually well on my way to the next set!
The other reason that I liked the ten pound milestone is due to a photograph I saw a while back on a show. I can not recall what show I was watching, or why, but the image has remained with me since I saw it almost eight months ago. That image would hit me every time I stepped on a scale and realized how overweight I was. The photo is of a yellow chunk of "fat" with red specks placed in random spots. It is so simple, and yet very effective. I looked at that photo, and it hit me hard about how much extra I was carrying on my poor frame! No wonder my knees were hurting all the time. So I want to share it. It shocked me in to reality about my health, and I sincerely hope I am able to do the same for others by posting this.
Disgusting, is it not? Despite the disgust and shame that came with seeing this picture, something else struck me. I knew that I needed to lose 120 pounds to reach a healthy weight. Now, remember, I found this number to be absolutely intimidating, until another idea came to me. Despite my less than stellar skills in mental math, it did not take me long to figure out that 120 extra pounds would equate to twelve puke worthy ten pound blobs. Strangely, that made my ultimate goal of 120 pounds seem much more easy to attain. I had this image of myself tossing these massive ten pound blobs of puke worthy nastiness away, and slowly trimming myself down into a healthier person. And now for my update!
Today I stepped on the scale, and learned three things.
I have tossed aside yet another blob.
I not only hit a milestone, I went one pound past it.
I now weigh 189 pounds.
In other words, I have now lost a grand total of 71 pounds. So, if we are using the blob system of measurement, I have now rid myself of 7 blobs. It feels strange to see 189. It is as if breaking past the 190 mark means I have truly solidified my steps out of the 200's. It makes my progress feel more real, and makes the ultimate goal feel like it is just around the corner. I suppose you could say that I am "over the hill" in terms of weight loss, since I am well over halfway to my goal!
While I still have a long road ahead, there is now less road toward my destination, than there is road behind me. It would be harder now to turn around, and go back the way I came. So I am going to continue with my baby steps, and my blobs. With my husband by my side, and God above, I am going to continue. I am not going to go back the way I came. There are too many things for me on the road ahead. If I turn around now, I betray not only myself, but many of those whom I love, and who love me in return. So many of those responding to this blog have told me how I have inspired them, and how I have encouraged them. They keep me going. They make me push harder on that last burst of a run, or on that last rep of lifting weights.
Thank you to all who respond and encourage me. Thank you all who have helped me, and supported me through this challenging, yet rewarding period of my life. I am essentially changing my entire being, both inside and out. My readers, my friends, and my family all keep me going. God has truly blessed me with such great people in my life.
We all have our blobs to toss, both physical and figurative. May all of you have success in your blob tossing ventures!
With love,
Kristina.
I define milestones as ten pound increments of weight loss. There were a few different motivations behind my ten pound marker, but the most important two really helped me break down my goal into easy to manage steps. I think the biggest reason was that ten pounds is a good, even number. Small enough to be realistic, and big enough to be a challenge. Simply put, it is like taking baby steps. Back in spring, when I first decided to get on the ball about weight loss, and health, I set for myself a goal to lose 120 pounds. That was a very intimidating number. If you think about it, that is basically one whole person! So I divided it up in to two sets of sixty pounds. While this did help, even sixty pounds seemed daunting. I then decided to view it in steps of ten. Ten pounds is easy, I have done it before, many times. The problem was managing to lose that next ten, and the ten after that, and so on. So, as the cliche goes, I took it a day at a time. Before I realized it, I had lost the first ten, and was actually well on my way to the next set!
The other reason that I liked the ten pound milestone is due to a photograph I saw a while back on a show. I can not recall what show I was watching, or why, but the image has remained with me since I saw it almost eight months ago. That image would hit me every time I stepped on a scale and realized how overweight I was. The photo is of a yellow chunk of "fat" with red specks placed in random spots. It is so simple, and yet very effective. I looked at that photo, and it hit me hard about how much extra I was carrying on my poor frame! No wonder my knees were hurting all the time. So I want to share it. It shocked me in to reality about my health, and I sincerely hope I am able to do the same for others by posting this.
Disgusting, is it not? Despite the disgust and shame that came with seeing this picture, something else struck me. I knew that I needed to lose 120 pounds to reach a healthy weight. Now, remember, I found this number to be absolutely intimidating, until another idea came to me. Despite my less than stellar skills in mental math, it did not take me long to figure out that 120 extra pounds would equate to twelve puke worthy ten pound blobs. Strangely, that made my ultimate goal of 120 pounds seem much more easy to attain. I had this image of myself tossing these massive ten pound blobs of puke worthy nastiness away, and slowly trimming myself down into a healthier person. And now for my update!
Today I stepped on the scale, and learned three things.
I have tossed aside yet another blob.
I not only hit a milestone, I went one pound past it.
I now weigh 189 pounds.
In other words, I have now lost a grand total of 71 pounds. So, if we are using the blob system of measurement, I have now rid myself of 7 blobs. It feels strange to see 189. It is as if breaking past the 190 mark means I have truly solidified my steps out of the 200's. It makes my progress feel more real, and makes the ultimate goal feel like it is just around the corner. I suppose you could say that I am "over the hill" in terms of weight loss, since I am well over halfway to my goal!
While I still have a long road ahead, there is now less road toward my destination, than there is road behind me. It would be harder now to turn around, and go back the way I came. So I am going to continue with my baby steps, and my blobs. With my husband by my side, and God above, I am going to continue. I am not going to go back the way I came. There are too many things for me on the road ahead. If I turn around now, I betray not only myself, but many of those whom I love, and who love me in return. So many of those responding to this blog have told me how I have inspired them, and how I have encouraged them. They keep me going. They make me push harder on that last burst of a run, or on that last rep of lifting weights.
Thank you to all who respond and encourage me. Thank you all who have helped me, and supported me through this challenging, yet rewarding period of my life. I am essentially changing my entire being, both inside and out. My readers, my friends, and my family all keep me going. God has truly blessed me with such great people in my life.
We all have our blobs to toss, both physical and figurative. May all of you have success in your blob tossing ventures!
With love,
Kristina.
Monday, September 24, 2012
Oh Lord, I must be crazy!
Well, tonight is my first dance class in years. No, seriously...the last time I took any sort of dance lesson, I was about 3 or 4 feet tall, and could barely tie my shoes! I decided a couple of weeks ago that I needed to add something new to my exercise routine. Running is still my favorite work out, of course. The problem is that I have started to call the Elliptical trainer fairly unkind names when I am working out on it. In other words, it is time to find something new to try.
I thought about trying Zumba again. It is fun...but every time I thought about it, this picture comes to mind.
So yeah, I think I may skip Zumba. I really wanted to get back in to martial arts. Unfortunately, the issue of cost and time really makes it impossible. As it stands, my work outs have all been free, except for the small amount of money I used to purchase my weights and gloves for my strength training, and my knee straps for running. I use my church fitness room which is free, and I run at the local park. We are a very low budget family, so the free route really worked.
Then I thought about trying work out DVD's. Well, I have been down that road before. 30 day shred, Yoga melt down, and a few others have all found their way in to my failed fitness collection. I considered buying a Zumba DVD, so that I could at least have the dignity of looking like the above photo in the privacy of my own living room. Still, it just did not feel right.
As most answers do, this one came to me at a somewhat unexpected moment. Kathryne was finishing up her dance class, and I was waiting in the lobby with the other moms. Her teacher came out, and was discussing beginner clogging with another one of the mothers who has a daughter in the same class. The mention of a beginner class for women 18 and older caught my attention.
I inquired about it, the cost and time, and realized it was something I wanted to try. If you haven't seen clogging, look up YouTube videos of it. Extra points if you find videos of One Step Ahead Dance Studio! It is pure motion. Your feet are constantly moving, your arms are constantly used in expressive ways, and your body gets an amazing workout. The best part, though, is that it looks like an absolute blast to do!
Fortunately, it will not kill our budget. The shoes can be expensive, but with a little hunting online, I have found a few budget friendly options. Luckily Kathryne is already enrolled in one class at OSA, so a second class is discounted! It only adds an extra $30 a month to the regular tuition. With a little help from Nana and Papaw, this is going to work out great!
So here it was, my answer to the riddle. We have had to rearrange our schedules a little bit to fit Clogging in. One of my Rec Desk volunteer shifts had to be moved to a different day, and we will have to stop going to Wednesday night Bible Studies at church, just so we can have one week night without some activity or another. I admit that one is a little bit of a bummer. I also have to rearrange my work out routine a little bit. Clogging, while great exercise, is definitely higher impact, so my running days will have to change. As much as it will irritate me, I will also continue with the Elliptical trainer at least once a week. As boring as that *insert naughty word here* is compared to my runs, it really is a good low impact cardio alternative to my other workouts!
I think this will be good for me. Kathryne is excited that mommy will be taking "dance class" too! It should be an interesting venture, considering the fact that I will be performing at a recital at the end of the year. I would be lying if I didn't say that I am nervous about what whirlwind of a day recital will be, since both Kathryne and I will be performing. I have a feeling Nana will have to take up her past role of dance mom, only this time with her daughter AND granddaughter. Okay, I have to admit that thinking of that made me smile! It will also be nice to have something special to share with her. Daddy and Ayden have their things, this will be ours.
Wish me luck. I am not sure how much I will be able to do in class today, since I still have to order my shoes. However, I will not let that stop me. The real question, is whether or not I will be able to walk tomorrow. I already predict that a hot shower (and, with any luck, a foot massage from the hubby) will be my best friend tonight.
Hopefully, I don't look like Ace Ventura when I dance....
Love and laughs!
Kristina
I thought about trying Zumba again. It is fun...but every time I thought about it, this picture comes to mind.
Then I thought about trying work out DVD's. Well, I have been down that road before. 30 day shred, Yoga melt down, and a few others have all found their way in to my failed fitness collection. I considered buying a Zumba DVD, so that I could at least have the dignity of looking like the above photo in the privacy of my own living room. Still, it just did not feel right.
As most answers do, this one came to me at a somewhat unexpected moment. Kathryne was finishing up her dance class, and I was waiting in the lobby with the other moms. Her teacher came out, and was discussing beginner clogging with another one of the mothers who has a daughter in the same class. The mention of a beginner class for women 18 and older caught my attention.
I inquired about it, the cost and time, and realized it was something I wanted to try. If you haven't seen clogging, look up YouTube videos of it. Extra points if you find videos of One Step Ahead Dance Studio! It is pure motion. Your feet are constantly moving, your arms are constantly used in expressive ways, and your body gets an amazing workout. The best part, though, is that it looks like an absolute blast to do!
Fortunately, it will not kill our budget. The shoes can be expensive, but with a little hunting online, I have found a few budget friendly options. Luckily Kathryne is already enrolled in one class at OSA, so a second class is discounted! It only adds an extra $30 a month to the regular tuition. With a little help from Nana and Papaw, this is going to work out great!
So here it was, my answer to the riddle. We have had to rearrange our schedules a little bit to fit Clogging in. One of my Rec Desk volunteer shifts had to be moved to a different day, and we will have to stop going to Wednesday night Bible Studies at church, just so we can have one week night without some activity or another. I admit that one is a little bit of a bummer. I also have to rearrange my work out routine a little bit. Clogging, while great exercise, is definitely higher impact, so my running days will have to change. As much as it will irritate me, I will also continue with the Elliptical trainer at least once a week. As boring as that *insert naughty word here* is compared to my runs, it really is a good low impact cardio alternative to my other workouts!
I think this will be good for me. Kathryne is excited that mommy will be taking "dance class" too! It should be an interesting venture, considering the fact that I will be performing at a recital at the end of the year. I would be lying if I didn't say that I am nervous about what whirlwind of a day recital will be, since both Kathryne and I will be performing. I have a feeling Nana will have to take up her past role of dance mom, only this time with her daughter AND granddaughter. Okay, I have to admit that thinking of that made me smile! It will also be nice to have something special to share with her. Daddy and Ayden have their things, this will be ours.
Wish me luck. I am not sure how much I will be able to do in class today, since I still have to order my shoes. However, I will not let that stop me. The real question, is whether or not I will be able to walk tomorrow. I already predict that a hot shower (and, with any luck, a foot massage from the hubby) will be my best friend tonight.
Hopefully, I don't look like Ace Ventura when I dance....
Love and laughs!
Kristina
Friday, September 21, 2012
Non Scale Victory
In the rare bursts of free time that I get, I sometimes enjoy spending my time on Cafemom. It's a great website for moms, and has a group for just about anyone and everyone. Among some of my favorites, is a group for healthy weight loss. If there is one thing that can throw a person off on their journey to better health, it is a lack of support. So this group is a wonderful way to talk to women who are facing some of the exact same struggles I am. Time, money issues, children...all these things are issues many of us share, and can relate to each other about.
While the group is focused on weight loss, as the name suggests, loss is not the only important part of the group. We have exercise check ins (which keep you honest), journals that we keep and share among our fellow members, and group butt-kickers when you come on feeling sorry for yourself and want to just sit around and mope. But there is something else this group has. A phrase they use that, I think, is easily the most motivational tool when it comes to losing weight, and just getting healthy in general.
Non-scale victory, or NSV. If you were to log on to the forum right now, you would likely see a large number of posts talking about this or that NSV. You see, one of hardest lessons to learn when getting in shape is that the numbers on a scale really are just numbers. While it is a good idea to make sure those numbers have a steady, but healthy drop, it is also a good idea not to rely on your weight as the only marker of your progress. So when I have those weeks where my weight doesn't go down as much as I want, I look to my non scale victories to encourage myself.
I think it will help to sit down and write about these victories. Honestly, I don't really take as much time as I should to write about them in the weight loss group, because I often am too busy writing things for this blog! I figured why not make a weekly "Non Scale Victory" post for my blog instead.
So what is a non scale victory? Well it is exactly as the phrase implies. A victory that has nothing to do with weight. It can be a new pants size, a new distance you can run, a successful workout to 30 Day Shred without dropping to the floor and crying out for mercy in the form of a pause button...
Really it can be anything that you have achieved along your path to health. As I write and post about some of my own NSV's, some may surprise you, as much as they surprised me. I don't think I realized how poor my health was until I started to become more healthy. It was like the first time I got glasses back in middle school. Suddenly the trees had leaves. Yes, I know that leaves grow on trees, but what I mean is that the leaves went from big green blurs, to actual individual objects.
One of the biggest ones is likely the most recent; Blood Pressure. Unfortunately for me, blood pressure is a battle I fight on two fronts. Hypertension not only runs in my family, but my weight and salt-saturated diet was starting to cause it to creep up more and more. My doctor wanted to put me on medication for it! In addition to him, my OBGYN was telling me not to get pregnant again because of the blood pressure issues I experienced at the end of my pregnancy. Even months after delivering my twins, I struggled to keep my blood pressure in a healthy range. Not only because my weight was at the highest it had ever been, but because our diet was not exactly the healthiest.
We were exhausted all the time because Ben was working nights and doing full time school during the days, while we were both trying to take care of new born twins, so we had almost no energy to really cook anything. We had to stretch every dollar, so cheap food was a must. While we made sure the twins ate healthy, Ben and I ate a lot of boxed meals, and fast food. On top of that, we both drank more soft drink than I even want to think about. In all honestly, with the amounts of processed sodium and carbohydrates we were consuming, we may have actually been better off just eating straight salt and sugar!
Before starting my weight loss, my blood pressure was usually in the range of 160-170/90-100. In other words, I was hypertensive, but often so borderline that my doctor wanted to give me time to lower it through weight loss, exercise, and diet. A healthy blood pressure should have been closer to the 120/80 mark, and I could only lay so much blame on stress or nerves. I had to face the fact that my weight was hitting my blood pressure hard.
To really understand blood pressure, you need to know what the numbers represent. A blood pressure is represented as a fraction. At that time, my blood pressure was 170/90. The top number is known as your systolic blood pressure, the bottom is your diastolic blood pressure. If you're anything like me when I first researched pressure, these two words mean absolutely nothing! Don't worry, I had to look them up myself the first time.
Systolic Blood Pressure--The pressure inside your blood vessels at the moment your heart beats.
Diastolic Blood Pressure-- The pressure in your vessels between beats, when the heart is resting.
Now, if you are monitoring your blood pressure, it is good to do it at a couple of different times throughout the day. It can be affected by things such as medications, illness, stress, even posture. It is also important to find what is a normal range for yourself. In my case, my weight, diet, lack of exercise, and family history added up to the real and scary fact that my blood pressure was WELL out of the normal healthy range. However, if a generally healthy person goes to the doctor, and has a blood pressure reading of 140/80, it does not mean that they have hypertension. It does mean that it would be a good idea to monitor pressure to make sure it does not become consistent.
Over time, a consistently high blood pressure can damage and scar vessels, specially in your vital organs. It will have a negative effect on your body's ability to get blood to wear it needs to go. Blood pressure health threats are not related to just the heart, the damage is systemic.
So, to bring it all back to the non scale victory. I have been monitoring my blood pressure, and the last few times it was measured, it has been in the range of 117-120/70. In other words, I am consistently in what is considered the healthy range!
So there it is. I have been dealing with blood pressure issues since I was 19. To finally have a healthy blood pressure, is a massive non scale victory for me! I may always have to battle it, because of the hereditary nature of hypertension, but I certainly have made the battle easier on myself. With a healthier weight, lower sodium, and consistent exercise, blood pressure is much easier to maintain WITHOUT medication. Not to mention, at my age, blood pressure really should not be an issue. If I allowed myself to have hypertension this early in life, there is no telling how much damage I would do to my body over time! It is good thing, then, that I finally started to take care of it.
I want to post a link to a chart that shows the ranges of blood pressure. Truth be told, I never really paid attention to charts like this, because it was embarrassing to admit to myself that I was hypertensive in my early twenties! I am glad that I finally decided to get over it, because the alternative would have been far worse than a little bit of embarrassment!
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/blood-pressure/HI00043
numbers
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Slow and steady!
One thing I can say about my weight loss, is that it has been consistent, and healthy. Remember, 1-2 pounds a week is the average amount a person should be losing. So far, that is about what I have been averaging myself. While it may seem like you aren't making progress quickly enough, and you find yourself hating those weeks when you only lose one pound or (oh the horror!) no weight at all, slow and steady is the best approach. The more slowly you shed the pounds, the more likely you are to keep the weight off.
Our bodies tend to want to cling to the weight we have. It's hard to convince it to let go of some of that extra fluff. So when you indulge in fad diets, and starve yourself, you're doing nothing but...well, starving yourself. It never ceases to tick me off when I hear these radio spots about this miracle supplement, or that amazing diet program, where the participants lose a pound a day!
I have to admit, I've even fallen for one. I won a free month at a medical weight loss program last year. The diet was extraordinarily strict, with the first month requiring basically no carbohydrates. This was done in order to send my body in to ketosis. I had to keep these test strips on hand to test myself to make sure I was within this "happy range" they described for me. Essentially the idea was to trick my body in to burning just fat for energy. On top of that, there were weekly B-shots, and a daily schedule of stimulants, colon cleansers, calcium pills, and fish oil. I had to keep the amount of food I ate limited to a set number of ounces, as defined by my little food scale that I got with the program. Oh, and exercise of course!
I would be lying if I said it didn't work. In a little over a month, I lost about 27 pounds. It was great! On top of the weight loss program, I had also won a free makeover from a local news station, and was all set for my "big reveal" at a small local fashion show with my new hair do and dress (that was 3 sizes smaller than my size at starting the program).
However, there is a flip side to all of this. While the program did work, it only did so because I was hungry most of the time, and not eating any of the foods I liked, and that includes some of my favorite fruits! I was cranky a good deal of the time, specially in the morning because of the lack of carbohydrates in my body, both good and bad. After the month trial, I said the hell with it, and gave up. I wish I could say that I maintained healthy eating, and didn't gain back too much weight, but that would be a lie. At first I continued with exercise and healthier food choices, but when I rapidly gained weight back despite making those decisions, I became disheartened.
And THAT is one of the bigger problems with these fad diets. As soon as you stop, even if you maintain a healthy lifestyle, you WILL gain a chunk of the weight back. Rapid weight loss feels nice at first, but when you realize you're miserable because you are not enjoying what you eat, you will be more likely to slip in to bad eating habits. One meal at Foosackly's post-diet actually led to a gain of 2 pounds. Just one. That should show you how quickly ending such a diet will put weight back on. Unfortunately, that is also what led me to just stop caring about what I ate, and led me to gain weight up to the 260 pounds.
Fad diets, cleanses, supplements all promise the same thing, fast results. In other words, they promise to help you cheat your way to a lower weight. Some, like the diet I was on, require a lot of work. Others, like that powder you sprinkle on your food, promise results with absolutely no change to your eating habits.
And lets not forget weight loss surgeries. To be fair, I think in some cases they can save a life. I am not totally against weight loss surgery. However, these operations only treat a physical issue. Obesity has a mental side to it as well. Often, those who become obese do so because food is a comfort, or may have been taught poor eating habits in early life. In either case, they begin to gain unhealthy amounts of weight. This leads to depression, which leads to further weight gain, which leads to further depression...and you can see the cycle developing can't you? So a person who undergoes weight loss surgery will lose weight almost immediately. But, if they do not change their lifestyle, and heal the inner hurts, the surgery will be pointless, because they will eventually gain that weight back.
Truth be told, this goes for any weight loss. Moving to a healthy life style is not an easy task. It is so easy to become addicted to food, and use it to self medicate. I had to first work on my emotions and poor eating habits, before healthy eating and exercise became a natural habit. It is why I don't hesitate to tell people to see a doctor or psychologist and discuss treating emotional issues while working on the physical ones. For me, I had to treat adult ADD, which was actually the root of my anxiety and depression. Once that obstacle was behind me, this change became easier. Bad habits that I had picked up over my life were less of a challenge to break.
So here I am. About seven months ago, I started this journey into a healthier life. Today, the scale told me I weighed 193 pounds. The last time I was anywhere near that was my freshman year of college. Even more of a treat, I tried on a pair of size 16 jeans, and a Large blouse (that's right, not extra large) and not only did they fit, but they looked pretty good if you ask me! That brings my total weight loss to 67 pounds! That is about 9.5 pounds a month, which is right where I should be.
Slow and steady goes my pace, and I am perfectly fine with that. To compare to the "diet" I tried, look at this. In seven months I have lost 67 pounds by simply eating healthier, and exercising regularly. On the diet, I lost over 25 pounds in ONE month. Today, I can indulge in a treat, or a calorie packed meal at a favorite restaurant, and likely won't gain any weight. One "bad meal" after the diet, and I gained 2 pounds. It doesn't take a genius to realize that simply eating healthy and working out is the most effective and permanent method to losing weight. Diets and supplements don't work!
I once had a teacher that would let us cheat. You could copy answers, bring in cheat sheets, even text with a friend. However, he gave us a warning. We could not cheat on the final exam. In other words, we had to learn the material. The tests were not the focus, the material was what was of value. If you gave in and spent the year cheating, you would pass all the tests, but you would not have learned anything. I chose to study, and scored a 97 on my final. It was a nice feeling, considering the large number of people who chose to take the easy route. The class average on the final was a miserable 72%.
Losing weight is like that class. You can cheat your way through, with diets and programs and miracle drugs. Or you can take the long way around. Sure it means extra hours and more work, and the results aren't going to be as dramatic (at least early on). But in the end, you not only achieved your desired results, you have a sense of pride in your achievement. You know you worked hard and earned it. I am more proud of those first 10 pounds I lost in my first month, than the 27 pounds I lost on that crash diet. And like the teacher said, the material is more important than the tests (in this case, the scale). I've learned that I am strong. I learned how to lift weights to build muscle. I learned that I loved running, and that training for a 5k race is great for weight loss! Oh, and ladies, if you want to tone your butt, get out there and run. Who knew! I also gained confidence. A lot of it. Ironically it was not so much the weight loss, and improved figure that led me to be more confident, but the knowledge that I am doing something to improve myself.
I guess the tortoise had it right! Slow and steady goes the pace, slow and steady wins the race.
Be a tortoise!
Love,
K.
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
In vs. out
Ever have one of those moments when a realization hits you and you find yourself thinking "DUH!!!"
Yeah, I have those pretty often, but my most recent came to me this past weekend. I spent some time on Saturday speaking with a pair fitness lovers like myself, and the topic of healthy eating came up. We got to talking about the importance what you include in your daily diet, over the importance of what you cut out. It suddenly hit me that this is exactly what we had done in our family, without even realizing it. Instead of a "cut out" mentality, we just started to add in healthy things here and there. That, I believe, is why we were met with success.
It is no secret that the less processed food you eat, the healthier you will be. Unfortunately, it is not easy to maintain a low/no processed diet in this world we live in. At least not in the United States. Think about it, the cheapest food out there is going to be processed, and non organic. Our family began to cut out processed when and where we could, but it isn't always easy on a VERY tight budget. Often we still have to buy some processed for the sake of our sanity and savings, however we are very picky about reading labels for ingredients. The change was noticeable. Our food spending went way up, although it was fortunately balanced once we discovered some local farmer's markets and produce stands. Regardless, I can see why people who are very poor choose to eat convenience foods more than anything. Healthy is expensive!
I also lay some blame on the rise of extreme coupon use. A person can go in to a store and buy twenty boxes of (insert food here) and come out having spent little or nothing on it if they know how to coupon. It is no surprise that money saving techniques like this have become the norm in a time where prices of basic needs rise almost daily! As great as that may seem, however, coupons don't usually cover things like fresh fruits and veggies, hormone free produce, or even processed foods with healthier ingredients. At least they don't cover them in such a way that you can buy in the "extreme" style of shopping.
So, when we made the transition to healthier foods, it was a slow process. Honestly, we are STILL trying to transition. I can say that we are much healthier than we were before. Keep in mind, Ben and I lived off a diet of Mt. Dew, Ramen, hot pockets, Foosackly's, and hamburger helper before we had kids. So the change required a lot of research and learning on our part. Not just about about what foods we needed to eat more of, but how to cook them, what ingredients to avoid, where to buy cheap but healthy food, how food helps or hurts your body...there is a lot to learn! Of all the things that I discovered, one truth sticks out now:
It is NOT what you take OUT of your diet, but what you PUT IN that matters most.
Of course, having read some of my other posts, you will have seen me say "cut out" more than once. Well, it is true, I have cut out a lot of things from my diet. Like soft drinks, and excessive processed carbs such as high fructose corn syrup. I think it is fair to say, though, that I didn't really cut them out as much as I left no room for those things in my daily eating.
The first steps we took to healthier eating were steps to add in more fruits and veggies. It was a baby step, but an important one. Instead of snacking on cheez-its and cookies, I started having us snack on grapes, bananas, and apples. Instead of ice berg lettuce tossed with a bottle of dressing and calling it a salad, I made steamed asparagus for dinner, or baked some broccoli with olive oil and topped it with a little Parmesan cheese. Over time, the healthy food began to take the place of the unhealthy foods. As we began to add in better ingredients to our daily diet, we had less room for the unhealthy things. Somewhere along the way we had cut out the bad, without even really noticing it.
Carbs have, and always WILL, be my weakness. So protein was not always the easiest thing to convince myself to eat unless it was fried. Not to mention, we also favored lots of red meat, instead of white meat and fish. Yet again, we took small steps. I found meals that could use chicken or turkey, instead of beef. I learned how to cook some new dishes with fish, something I had never tried. And we began to have meals that included a new veggie we had not cooked with before. Over time, our diet became more protein heavy. Funny thing happens when you eat more protein...you get hungry less often. It is true. Protein helps keep you fuller longer! So naturally, snacking was less and less common for us. Another change we noticed is that beef really is not our main source of protein anymore. We love eggs, chicken, and fish more than anything. Beef, while a good source of protein, is unhealthy in large amounts. I have to say, my favorite meal these days is blackened salmon. Not to brag on myself, but I can not deny that my blackened salmon is amazing!
Also complicating my carb-love issues was the fact that I can not stand whole grain or whole wheat. It is not the taste, but texture. It always feels rough, and grosses me out! I know it is probably all in my head, but try telling my tongue that! So I added in ground flax to just about everything we eat. I toss it in our chili, bake it in my home made bread, cook it into our burgers...it can be mixed in to anything! While we still prefer the "white breads" to whole grain, we cook smaller amounts of it for meals, so that our proteins and veggies take up the bigger percentage of the meal!
It was the same with soft drinks. I'll be the first to tell you, my sprite and mountain dew consumption was beyond unhealthy. How I escaped diabetes in my early life is beyond me. I started by replacing one soft drink with a glass of water. Then another, and another...and eventually water replaced soda as my primary drink. The less Sprite I consumed, the less I desired it. I didn't actively seek to cut it out, it just naturally happened.
You see, sugar is addicting, and soft drinks are basically liquid sugar. Research is showing that for some people, it can be as addicting as cigarettes! Sugar addiction is a very real, and very dangerous illness. It is well known that companies strive to make junk food as addicting as possible. Take time and read ingredients on the food you buy. Sugar or high fructose corn syrup is likely to be one of THE main ingredients! The more you eat, the more you want. That is why a person can sit down with a sugar loaded snack, and eat the entire thing without realizing what they are consuming.
I realized finally why I failed every time I tried to cut out "bad food." I failed because I approached it with the "cut out" mentality. In a way, I was feeling like I was missing out on something, like I was having to make a sacrifice. So somewhere inside my mind, I decided to start approaching our new lifestyle with the idea that we were not cutting out anything, but adding in something better. Well, it worked. I can count this as a win for my sub conscious powers of decision making.
There was time when if I turned down a dessert, or soft drink it would feel like a loss. So you can see why I would fall back in to bad habits very easily. Today, I can pass on one or the other, and not give it a second thought. Now, understand that I still do have a treat once in a while. That is the key though. Once in a while. I've admitted to my weakness for Famous Amos cookies, and I indulge in a few of those small delights once a week. Also, we don't really ever eat out, but when we do, I get something I know I will enjoy and not something I think will keep my waistline small. I DO however get my takeout box at the start and set aside half the meal to take home for later. I know that allowing myself something fun is not going to hurt because I make sure the majority of food I fuel my body with is healthy!
Once I approached eating with the idea that what goes in is more important than what I take out, I was able to enjoy this "diet switch." Our meals are a lot more colorful now, which is a good thing. Your diet should be colorful, because the varying colors of the foods we consume represent the varying nutrients we are getting. It is why fruits and vegetables are so colorful...they have a spectrum of essential nutrition for us!
Eventually, like us, you will realize that all the processed junk food out there is just that, junk. Like I said, I still like a treat once in a while. Lord knows, I look forward to our monthly trip to the mall for the American cookie stand as much as the twins do! But we finally realized we had made the "switch" when one weekend of eating out led to VERY messed up stomachs for all of us. When your body becomes used to healthy home cooked food, anything besides that will probably upset your stomach! And boy did it upset mine.
Like anything in life, you have to approach lifestyle changes with a positive attitude. Making a long term, if not permanent, change in eating habits is hard. Some of the best tasting foods can often be the worst for us! So when you look at it as adding in something, and not cutting out (thus missing out) on things you enjoy, it will make the transition easier. And when you do this, you'll find that you don't need those unhealthy foods as much as you once thought. Remember, though, that moderation is always the key. It is okay to eat bad here and there. When your body is healthy from all the good things you put in to it, the occasional indulgence won't mess you up.
Unless it's buffalo sauce...I love that stuff, but it comes with major regret the next day!
Keep positive, and you'll keep going.
-K
Yeah, I have those pretty often, but my most recent came to me this past weekend. I spent some time on Saturday speaking with a pair fitness lovers like myself, and the topic of healthy eating came up. We got to talking about the importance what you include in your daily diet, over the importance of what you cut out. It suddenly hit me that this is exactly what we had done in our family, without even realizing it. Instead of a "cut out" mentality, we just started to add in healthy things here and there. That, I believe, is why we were met with success.
It is no secret that the less processed food you eat, the healthier you will be. Unfortunately, it is not easy to maintain a low/no processed diet in this world we live in. At least not in the United States. Think about it, the cheapest food out there is going to be processed, and non organic. Our family began to cut out processed when and where we could, but it isn't always easy on a VERY tight budget. Often we still have to buy some processed for the sake of our sanity and savings, however we are very picky about reading labels for ingredients. The change was noticeable. Our food spending went way up, although it was fortunately balanced once we discovered some local farmer's markets and produce stands. Regardless, I can see why people who are very poor choose to eat convenience foods more than anything. Healthy is expensive!
I also lay some blame on the rise of extreme coupon use. A person can go in to a store and buy twenty boxes of (insert food here) and come out having spent little or nothing on it if they know how to coupon. It is no surprise that money saving techniques like this have become the norm in a time where prices of basic needs rise almost daily! As great as that may seem, however, coupons don't usually cover things like fresh fruits and veggies, hormone free produce, or even processed foods with healthier ingredients. At least they don't cover them in such a way that you can buy in the "extreme" style of shopping.
So, when we made the transition to healthier foods, it was a slow process. Honestly, we are STILL trying to transition. I can say that we are much healthier than we were before. Keep in mind, Ben and I lived off a diet of Mt. Dew, Ramen, hot pockets, Foosackly's, and hamburger helper before we had kids. So the change required a lot of research and learning on our part. Not just about about what foods we needed to eat more of, but how to cook them, what ingredients to avoid, where to buy cheap but healthy food, how food helps or hurts your body...there is a lot to learn! Of all the things that I discovered, one truth sticks out now:
It is NOT what you take OUT of your diet, but what you PUT IN that matters most.
Of course, having read some of my other posts, you will have seen me say "cut out" more than once. Well, it is true, I have cut out a lot of things from my diet. Like soft drinks, and excessive processed carbs such as high fructose corn syrup. I think it is fair to say, though, that I didn't really cut them out as much as I left no room for those things in my daily eating.
The first steps we took to healthier eating were steps to add in more fruits and veggies. It was a baby step, but an important one. Instead of snacking on cheez-its and cookies, I started having us snack on grapes, bananas, and apples. Instead of ice berg lettuce tossed with a bottle of dressing and calling it a salad, I made steamed asparagus for dinner, or baked some broccoli with olive oil and topped it with a little Parmesan cheese. Over time, the healthy food began to take the place of the unhealthy foods. As we began to add in better ingredients to our daily diet, we had less room for the unhealthy things. Somewhere along the way we had cut out the bad, without even really noticing it.
Carbs have, and always WILL, be my weakness. So protein was not always the easiest thing to convince myself to eat unless it was fried. Not to mention, we also favored lots of red meat, instead of white meat and fish. Yet again, we took small steps. I found meals that could use chicken or turkey, instead of beef. I learned how to cook some new dishes with fish, something I had never tried. And we began to have meals that included a new veggie we had not cooked with before. Over time, our diet became more protein heavy. Funny thing happens when you eat more protein...you get hungry less often. It is true. Protein helps keep you fuller longer! So naturally, snacking was less and less common for us. Another change we noticed is that beef really is not our main source of protein anymore. We love eggs, chicken, and fish more than anything. Beef, while a good source of protein, is unhealthy in large amounts. I have to say, my favorite meal these days is blackened salmon. Not to brag on myself, but I can not deny that my blackened salmon is amazing!
Also complicating my carb-love issues was the fact that I can not stand whole grain or whole wheat. It is not the taste, but texture. It always feels rough, and grosses me out! I know it is probably all in my head, but try telling my tongue that! So I added in ground flax to just about everything we eat. I toss it in our chili, bake it in my home made bread, cook it into our burgers...it can be mixed in to anything! While we still prefer the "white breads" to whole grain, we cook smaller amounts of it for meals, so that our proteins and veggies take up the bigger percentage of the meal!
It was the same with soft drinks. I'll be the first to tell you, my sprite and mountain dew consumption was beyond unhealthy. How I escaped diabetes in my early life is beyond me. I started by replacing one soft drink with a glass of water. Then another, and another...and eventually water replaced soda as my primary drink. The less Sprite I consumed, the less I desired it. I didn't actively seek to cut it out, it just naturally happened.
You see, sugar is addicting, and soft drinks are basically liquid sugar. Research is showing that for some people, it can be as addicting as cigarettes! Sugar addiction is a very real, and very dangerous illness. It is well known that companies strive to make junk food as addicting as possible. Take time and read ingredients on the food you buy. Sugar or high fructose corn syrup is likely to be one of THE main ingredients! The more you eat, the more you want. That is why a person can sit down with a sugar loaded snack, and eat the entire thing without realizing what they are consuming.
I realized finally why I failed every time I tried to cut out "bad food." I failed because I approached it with the "cut out" mentality. In a way, I was feeling like I was missing out on something, like I was having to make a sacrifice. So somewhere inside my mind, I decided to start approaching our new lifestyle with the idea that we were not cutting out anything, but adding in something better. Well, it worked. I can count this as a win for my sub conscious powers of decision making.
There was time when if I turned down a dessert, or soft drink it would feel like a loss. So you can see why I would fall back in to bad habits very easily. Today, I can pass on one or the other, and not give it a second thought. Now, understand that I still do have a treat once in a while. That is the key though. Once in a while. I've admitted to my weakness for Famous Amos cookies, and I indulge in a few of those small delights once a week. Also, we don't really ever eat out, but when we do, I get something I know I will enjoy and not something I think will keep my waistline small. I DO however get my takeout box at the start and set aside half the meal to take home for later. I know that allowing myself something fun is not going to hurt because I make sure the majority of food I fuel my body with is healthy!
Once I approached eating with the idea that what goes in is more important than what I take out, I was able to enjoy this "diet switch." Our meals are a lot more colorful now, which is a good thing. Your diet should be colorful, because the varying colors of the foods we consume represent the varying nutrients we are getting. It is why fruits and vegetables are so colorful...they have a spectrum of essential nutrition for us!
Eventually, like us, you will realize that all the processed junk food out there is just that, junk. Like I said, I still like a treat once in a while. Lord knows, I look forward to our monthly trip to the mall for the American cookie stand as much as the twins do! But we finally realized we had made the "switch" when one weekend of eating out led to VERY messed up stomachs for all of us. When your body becomes used to healthy home cooked food, anything besides that will probably upset your stomach! And boy did it upset mine.
Like anything in life, you have to approach lifestyle changes with a positive attitude. Making a long term, if not permanent, change in eating habits is hard. Some of the best tasting foods can often be the worst for us! So when you look at it as adding in something, and not cutting out (thus missing out) on things you enjoy, it will make the transition easier. And when you do this, you'll find that you don't need those unhealthy foods as much as you once thought. Remember, though, that moderation is always the key. It is okay to eat bad here and there. When your body is healthy from all the good things you put in to it, the occasional indulgence won't mess you up.
Unless it's buffalo sauce...I love that stuff, but it comes with major regret the next day!
Keep positive, and you'll keep going.
-K
Saturday, September 1, 2012
Bullying....
It is not a surprise that being overweight makes you an automatic target for bullies. They know that for most people who are overweight, their size does the most damage to their self confidence, so it is the best ammo for hurting them. There are probably more ways for someone to call a person fat, than all other insults put together.
Bullying has been something I've experienced since elementary school. I've ALWAYS been the big girl. It didn't help that my weight ballooned in middle school, right around the time I changed schools to a private Christian school here in Mobile. Keep in mind, middle school is a time where the mean girls and boy bullies come out swinging. Rumors, gossip, and cliques are the in thing. Being "the big girl" of course, was not.
Now, you would think that a Christian school would have, you know, Christian love for one another. Perhaps that was my naive mind talking back then. From day one, kids picked on me. None of the girls wanted to be my friends, and none of the boys would even talk to me. Well, they would, but only to make fun of me. My weight was the main focus of the teasing for the two years I was there. I often remember refusing to sing the Alma Mater when they did chapel, because the line "we praise God, and love each other" was a bold faced lie.
I eventually went back to public school, and found myself among many of my old friends. I was still bullied from time to time, mostly because of my weight, but I also met my wonderful husband during my last few years of school. He was like an anti bully shield, and helped me gain confidence that I had lacked for a long time.
Today, I'm a grown woman of (almost) 26 years old. I am married, with two beautiful children. You would think that bullying would be a thing of the past. But the years of bullying I faced, even well in to my college years, sticks with me. So as my weight continued to grow as the years went on, you can imagine my self confidence took a massive nose dive.
I wish I could say that bullying has stopped, and that people don't comment on my weight. True, I almost never hear anyone say things now about my weight these days. But it helps that I'm a much healthier than I was, and that you can see on my face that I have more confidence. These things have helped shrink the target on my back.
However, there will always be rude people. Even at the gym, while I am literally working my butt off, some snob has to make a remark. It is partially the reason why I chose to start my work outs at the church fitness room and track. The sad thing is, I have actually overheard a comment or two there as well. Of course, the two women who were doing it tried to run that day as well. I ran two miles, which is 24 laps around the track.
They could not even manage to run a full lap, and they were both half my size. Anyone bet that they were a little jealous?
It is sad that adults still bully. Even more sad that someone does it at a church. One of the hardest things for an overweight person to overcome is the fear that you will be judged for going to the gym. You would think that someone who sees you working out, and trying to fix your weight would want to cheer you on. You would hope that if they felt the need to make any remark, it would be something along the lines of how impressed they are at your determination to lose weight. Unfortunately, that is not often the case. People who do such thing are, in my opinion, the lowest kind of low. They can easily discourage a person who desperately needs to work out from getting the exercise they need!
There was a time when I would let such comments get to me. Just today, someone in a chat forum commented on a photo I posted of me in a swim suit. According to her, I stuck out like a store thumb from other ladies, that they were cute and tan, and I was chubby and pale.
Well, thank you captain obvious LOL!
Now, considering the fact that she posted it anonymously, chances are she was either a troll, or someone I have made mad on this forum. Either way, it is true. I'm chubby and pale. No denying that one. That's why I still have another 60 pounds that I want to lose. Apparently she didn't read the part about my weight loss, and how I still planned to lose more.
I told her she was welcome to strap on weights until she weighed 200 pounds, and then go run 3 or 4 miles. I have yet to get a response to that, or an acceptance of said challenge. I think perhaps she was disappointed that I didn't jump on the drama train with her!
But, comments aside, my chubby butt will be back in the living room to lift weights tomorrow, back at the park to run on Monday, and back at the gym to hit the elliptical on Tuesday. I've moved past the place where comments like that get to me. How? Because I am actually doing something about it. I have no shame about my body now, because I am currently trying to improve it. In fact, I am quite proud of it. This body carried two babies at once, and would have gone full term had I not developed Pre-eclampsia. This body can run 4 miles on an indoor track, 3.25 miles outside, and burn 5 miles in 52 minutes on an elliptical machine. This body has gone from a size 24/26 to a size 16/18.
And while I still have a LOT of room to improve, and a lot more work to do, my body has amazed me of what it is capable of with a little bit of work. Bullies can kiss my shrinking butt, because that is probably all they will see when I pass them while I am on a run!
Bullying has been something I've experienced since elementary school. I've ALWAYS been the big girl. It didn't help that my weight ballooned in middle school, right around the time I changed schools to a private Christian school here in Mobile. Keep in mind, middle school is a time where the mean girls and boy bullies come out swinging. Rumors, gossip, and cliques are the in thing. Being "the big girl" of course, was not.
Now, you would think that a Christian school would have, you know, Christian love for one another. Perhaps that was my naive mind talking back then. From day one, kids picked on me. None of the girls wanted to be my friends, and none of the boys would even talk to me. Well, they would, but only to make fun of me. My weight was the main focus of the teasing for the two years I was there. I often remember refusing to sing the Alma Mater when they did chapel, because the line "we praise God, and love each other" was a bold faced lie.
I eventually went back to public school, and found myself among many of my old friends. I was still bullied from time to time, mostly because of my weight, but I also met my wonderful husband during my last few years of school. He was like an anti bully shield, and helped me gain confidence that I had lacked for a long time.
Today, I'm a grown woman of (almost) 26 years old. I am married, with two beautiful children. You would think that bullying would be a thing of the past. But the years of bullying I faced, even well in to my college years, sticks with me. So as my weight continued to grow as the years went on, you can imagine my self confidence took a massive nose dive.
I wish I could say that bullying has stopped, and that people don't comment on my weight. True, I almost never hear anyone say things now about my weight these days. But it helps that I'm a much healthier than I was, and that you can see on my face that I have more confidence. These things have helped shrink the target on my back.
However, there will always be rude people. Even at the gym, while I am literally working my butt off, some snob has to make a remark. It is partially the reason why I chose to start my work outs at the church fitness room and track. The sad thing is, I have actually overheard a comment or two there as well. Of course, the two women who were doing it tried to run that day as well. I ran two miles, which is 24 laps around the track.
They could not even manage to run a full lap, and they were both half my size. Anyone bet that they were a little jealous?
It is sad that adults still bully. Even more sad that someone does it at a church. One of the hardest things for an overweight person to overcome is the fear that you will be judged for going to the gym. You would think that someone who sees you working out, and trying to fix your weight would want to cheer you on. You would hope that if they felt the need to make any remark, it would be something along the lines of how impressed they are at your determination to lose weight. Unfortunately, that is not often the case. People who do such thing are, in my opinion, the lowest kind of low. They can easily discourage a person who desperately needs to work out from getting the exercise they need!
Well, thank you captain obvious LOL!
Now, considering the fact that she posted it anonymously, chances are she was either a troll, or someone I have made mad on this forum. Either way, it is true. I'm chubby and pale. No denying that one. That's why I still have another 60 pounds that I want to lose. Apparently she didn't read the part about my weight loss, and how I still planned to lose more.
I told her she was welcome to strap on weights until she weighed 200 pounds, and then go run 3 or 4 miles. I have yet to get a response to that, or an acceptance of said challenge. I think perhaps she was disappointed that I didn't jump on the drama train with her!
But, comments aside, my chubby butt will be back in the living room to lift weights tomorrow, back at the park to run on Monday, and back at the gym to hit the elliptical on Tuesday. I've moved past the place where comments like that get to me. How? Because I am actually doing something about it. I have no shame about my body now, because I am currently trying to improve it. In fact, I am quite proud of it. This body carried two babies at once, and would have gone full term had I not developed Pre-eclampsia. This body can run 4 miles on an indoor track, 3.25 miles outside, and burn 5 miles in 52 minutes on an elliptical machine. This body has gone from a size 24/26 to a size 16/18.
And while I still have a LOT of room to improve, and a lot more work to do, my body has amazed me of what it is capable of with a little bit of work. Bullies can kiss my shrinking butt, because that is probably all they will see when I pass them while I am on a run!
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